Re: St George for England. (not really a 'funny')
I found this reply, which has the merit of being more historically accurate
Now England once was a country it's true,
But its name and its rulers came out of the blue.
From Germany where the Angles were great
They came to the help of a poor Roman state
Whose legions had gone back over the sea
To defend their own city in warm Italy.
King Arthur's great country was soon overrun
With Angles and Saxons who thought it was fun
To turn on the Celts who had no fighting band
And rename the country Angleland.
Then the Danes came to eat up a piece of the pie
So the Celts had to flee to the West or else die.
While Saxons and Danes were squabbling over
Romano-Britain's grass and sweet clover
A Bastard in France had his eye on the country
And slipped over the Channel with his Norman army.
The English beat off the Danes in the North
Then down to the South they quickly set forth.
But Harold their King took his eye off the battle.
The English were lost and enslaved as French cattle.
After some time - The Norman blood faded
Henry Tudor the Taffy and his army invaded.
Now England was Welsh and ruled by a Prick,
But the Welsh Prick's son could not do the trick.
He left a woman in charge of Olde England.
In her lifetime she tried to conduct the band,
But when the witch died it all turned to disaster.
Then it was the turn of a Scot to be Master!
King James the Sixth came hurrying south
With his strange ideas and a big foolish mouth.
When his heirs tried to bring back the Catholic religion
Great Britain said no to dispute and division.
The only choice left was to invite the Dutch
And give Britain into King William's clutch.
Once again the top cock could not do the trick
So to Deutschland they looked for another big prick!
So who are the English? The Celts or the Germans?
The Danes the Norwegians, the frenchified Normans?
Bastards the Italians knitted and purled,
Or slaves they brought from the old Roman World?
So just face the truth we're a bit of a mix,
A mongrel breed that needs the odd fix
Of new blood that comes from that strange place - Abroad
From Ireland and Europe and Asia's great horde
And Africa's plains, from where we all come.
For under the skin we are all just the same.
If Britain is great this is why it is should be –
Here everyone has the right to be free.