This is a genuine email that I have just received from my dad:

Doing our weekly shop at Morrison`s on Saturday morning we knew that we were buying a little more than normal because we were going to have M. and some of his family with us overnight. So much so that we ended up using two (small) trolleys.

So there was a full conveyor churning its way through checkout when the girl on the till looked at me and said (in a Scots accent) "are ye overeating?"

I explained that we were expecting guests for the weekend. She looked really puzzled by this answer and repeated the same question. After one or two more attempts she eventually got the correct question through to me- "are you over eighteen?" because there were some bottles of wine in our purchases.

Talk about laugh!!!

I should also add that my dad will be 80 later this year.

love it!

I take it your Dad looks very young for his age.

Brilliant Bert.

Beautiful; thank you.

Sounds like some of the conversations I have with our landlord whose first language is broad Cork and undecipherable.

Bert,
A lovely tale which reminds me of another true one which occurred a few years ago.

Stornoway got a new Lifeboat. In order to familiarise their crew with it they picked it up in Poole and came along the south coast and up the west coast of Ireland, calling into our lifeboat station for an overnight stay.

That evening in the pub the Irish lads couldn't understand the Scottish lads and vice versa. One of the visitors went to the bar and said to Billy the barman "Billy's nice" to which Billy took exception.

He was in fact ordering Baileys and ice.